Music Is a Culture Creator
“Every family has a culture...intentionally or by default.”
Okay, sit down with a latte...this is longer than my usual blog, but I believe it’s one of the most important truths for our families.
I remember, when my kids were young and other kids came to our house to play. I wondered how our family culture was different from theirs, and wished I could learn anything their families were doing that would help us have more fun or help our kids be more secure, nice or creative (or whatever...don’t we all want it all? Of course!).
On the other hand, It's kind of intimidating to step out of yourself and honestly evaluate how others see you and your family (scary or depressing may describe it better, right?). It’s an exciting challenge, actually!
So let’s talk about culture. Since each of our families have a unique culture (or tradition, as some call it), then as the adult, we have the power to create our culture and direct it. Effective parents, who are proactive in guiding their family culture, are aware of and take responsibility for the atmosphere and influences in their homes. Culture includes the actions, attitudes, and expectations taught, as well as allowed, in our family’s environment and relationships.
Choices create culture. If we as parents simply want “peace and quiet” in our homes and choose to have minimal daily interaction with our children or not allow genuine expression of opinion, our family culture will probably be limited in social skills or intimacy. When we choose to prioritize family and respond to the interaction with our children and their attitudes toward each other, we will more likely enjoy the benefits of a close family. It takes a strategy and consistent focus to create connectivity in our families.
The choices of music and its messages we play and allow in our homes are key because music is a culture shaper! It takes intentionality for us to provide music that helps to positively and effectively create the culture we desire for our family. Be strong, you can do this!
Let me ask a question: Why would we ignore or be uninformed about the incredible music available today that helps us as parents focus on authentic relationships, personality development, and creates strong, secure, honoring, and loving children?
Here are some more great questions for us as parents to reinforce the importance of using the powerful medium of music to create our desired family culture, a.k.a. happy, healthy homes:
What do we want our children to feel in our home? What music can I play to encourage those feelings?
What will our adult children thank us for, regarding the culture and atmosphere we created (or allowed) as they grew up in our care?
What negative messages are we aware of and intentionally guarding against?
How well is the music and media we now allow “preparing” our children to be positive, contributing, resilient members of society?
Wow! These questions can be overwhelming unless we understand it is a challenge for EVERY FAMILY! Parenting is a process with many seasons and unique circumstances. You obviously care about your family (and it's culture) or you wouldn’t be reading about raising happy, healthy families!
Face it: THERE ARE MANY FACTORS WE CANNOT CONTROL IN LIFE. BUT, WE CAN CONTROL THE MUSIC AND THE MESSAGES THAT ARE FILLING OUR HOMES (and cars, and cellphones, etc)! SO LET’S BE SELECTIVE , take advantage of all the great music available, and get all the help and support we can!
At first, I wrote these Best Buddies songs for my kids. It was irrelevant if others ever knew our songs! I wanted my kids to have character and purpose, and my family to be close, have fun together, and enjoy life! Very soon I was writing “Best Buddies” songs with not only my children in mind, but with yours! I truly hoped they would help families. When parents and grandparents began to describe the positive effect these songs made, I was surprised (and thankful!). I became even more committed to being a resource and encouragement to every family I could.
So let me reiterate: The messages in music are undoubtedly a significant factor in determining a family culture. That would be an understatement in our family! THE RIGHT MUSIC CAN BE A REAL ASSET IN FORMING YOUR POSITIVE, HEALTHY FAMILY CULTURE. Or, the wrong music can tear down the core values you assume you are imparting to your children.
Music can be YOUR partner, co-teacher, powerful attention keeper, entertainer and effective communicator of the values that create a family’s culture and perspectives. Our kids are like “sponges” literally absorbing the great messages we as wise, caring parents are pouring out! Why not fill our homes with character-building songs that teach our children to respect and enjoy one another?
We cannot give up! Be strong! The music choices you make will be a significant force in creating a fun, loving, healthy home. YOU CAN DO THIS!
I would love to hear how “Best Buddies” music has created a difference in your family culture! ❤
Never Give Up!
DeAnza Duron